


Three Times Helena Tries, and One Time She Doesn't Have To

by aserenitatum



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: 5+1 Fic, Alternate Universe, F/F, Kidfic, but it's actually a 3+1 because i am impatient
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aserenitatum/pseuds/aserenitatum
Summary: “You’re gonna leave because you’re a coward?”“I amnota coward,” Helena asserts, shoulders squaring back and her grip on her bag tightening.“Then get your ass in my house and introduce yourself to my kid,” Dinah throws back, eyebrow arching in challenge.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 65
Kudos: 318





	Three Times Helena Tries, and One Time She Doesn't Have To

**Author's Note:**

  * For [problematiclesbian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiclesbian/gifts).



> this is for ashley, who sent this back before she became a burp!
> 
> shoutout to the burps, as always. I know I ran a poll in chat and you all unanimously decided on something, but I just. decided not to do that lmao. don't kill me!
> 
> happy labour day y'all :)

Dinah frowns down at her phone when she feels it buzz on the couch next to her, fingers flitting over the screen when she sees it’s Helena calling her. 

Helena, who should’ve been on her doorstep five minutes ago. 

“Hi?” she says when she accepts the call. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Helena opens with and Dinah’s brow furrows even more. “We should probably wait.” 

“It’s not too soon,” she says, sparing a glance to her coffee table before getting up and walking to the entry hall. “Where are you?” 

“I’m—” 

Helena doesn’t finish her sentence, breaking off just as Dinah swings open her front door and is faced with the nervous woman. 

“Hi,” Dinah says, and this time her greeting is less confused and more joyous, the sight of Helena enough to melt away any worry she’d held. 

Again, Helena doesn’t greet her the way proper etiquette demands, running a hand through already messy hair and not stepping across the threshold when Dinah holds open the door and gestures her inside. 

“This is too soon.” 

“It’s not.” 

“I don’t think we’re ready.” 

“I think we are,” Dinah throws back, leaning heavily into the door as she watches Helena drag her hand through her hair again and the way it messily falls and frames her face is both telling of how often she’s been nervously touching it and makes Dinah want to knot her fingers in it and drag Helena into a kiss. 

She opts for neither, her voice dropping into a softer cadence as she tilts her head, eyes taking in all of Helena’s body, the apprehension and anxiety obvious. 

“Babe, it’s been six months,” she says softly, aching to reach out and calm Helena with a gentle touch. “It’s now or never.” 

“Well then, I’m gonna—” Helena says with a sharp nod and a thumb hooked over her shoulder but before she can say anything else, Dinah interrupts her. 

“You’re gonna leave me because you’re a coward?” 

“I am _not_ a coward,” Helena asserts, shoulders squaring back and her grip on the green gift bag in her hand tightening. 

“Then get your ass in my house and introduce yourself to my son,” Dinah throws back, eyebrow arching as she lifts her arm again in a gesture meant to usher her inside. 

“Okay.” 

Helena deflates so quickly that it gives away truly how unsettled she’s feeling, and as Helena drops her bag by the door and the gift bag on the little table, Dinah closes the front door softly and reaches for Helena’s coat before the woman can get to it herself. 

Her fingers slide along Helena’s long neck, into her collar and under, carefully peeling the jacket off her body and down her arms, and Helena lets her, almost melting under her touch as her chin drops to her chest with a soft sigh. 

After hanging up Helena’s coat next to hers, Dinah circles the woman until she’s in front of her, hands unable to remain by her sides and already smoothing over the soft fabric of Helena’s sweater, curling around her hips as she steps closer to Helena and nudges her chin with her nose. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi,” Helena says and she’s only human, after all, so she can’t resist the smile on her face or wrapping her arms around Dinah. 

“Welcome to my house.” 

“I’m glad to be here,” Helena whispers. 

“Yeah?” Dinah asks, that smile widening even more and Helena’s heart skips a beat at the sight of Dinah’s dimple. “It seemed like you were gonna lose it for a minute, there.” 

“Kinda still am.” 

“It’s going to be fine,” Dinah continues as her arms slide around to Helena’s back, pressing them even closer together. 

“I really like you,” Helena murmurs. 

“Well that’s good,” she says with a soft laugh. “I’d hope so.” 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” 

Helena’s voice is so small but she doesn’t look away from Dinah, and Dinah can see all the insecurities and worry in her eyes, the pressure and the stress and Helena’s always been so open with her, unabashed in a way that Dinah sometimes still struggles to reciprocate. Her heart’s had too much pain and sometimes Helena looks at her with all the emotions in her chest and Dinah feels like she can’t breathe from the intensity. 

She wants to be open and she wants to be genuine and she wants to give all the parts of herself to Helena to keep safe and love her, and this step is the biggest one yet. She’s finally ready — _they’re_ finally ready — and Helena’s concern just makes her want to do this more. 

Helena cares so much about her that she’s so unwilling to risk hurting the most important person in Dinah’s life, and she doesn’t even see that her fear of that is precisely what is going to make it all okay. She’s so willing to try, so careful in all her actions, so planned and thought out, that no matter what happens, the attention she’s put into it is what will make it go well. 

“I love you,” Dinah finally says in the breaths between them. “Which means that he will, too.” 

Helena’s eyes soften for the briefest of moments, and Dinah can see the exact moment her reasoning kicks in, the gears in her head picking up pace again as she speaks. 

“You know, a lot of the time, kids of single parents grow resentful of new partners either due to fear of losing attention or affection, or because of a need to protect their parent from pain or harm and that can manifest in—” 

Dinah kisses her, taking advantage of her parted lips to immediately deepen the kiss, tongue sweeping into Helena’s mouth and swallowing her words and ravaging her until she feels the tension seep from Helena’s body. 

“God, you’re so hot when you talk psychology to me,” Dinah mumbles against Helena’s lips when they part, has to take a deep breath to calm her racing pulse and enjoying the way Helena’s eyes slowly open, her long lashes fluttering. 

“I mean it,” Helena says before clearing her throat softly to get rid of some of her hoarseness. 

“I know,” Dinah says. “But I want you to meet my kid.” 

“I want to meet him.” 

“Okay.” Dinah shifts a hand between them so she can curl it around the back of Helena’s neck, thumb brushing under her jawline soothingly and Helena’s eyes close for a moment as she turns into the touch. “All kids love you, Helena. Why should mine be any different?” 

“Because he’s yours,” Helena says but her voice doesn’t sound as freaked out as it did before and Dinah counts it as a win. “And I’m not his teacher, I’m his mom’s girlfriend.” 

“This is his house as much as it is mine.” 

“Okay,” Helena says, brow furrowing just enough to belie her confusion at the unexpected turn in their conversation. 

“It’s why you’ve never been here before.” 

“I know.” 

“I asked him, H.” Dinah kisses her lips again, just a quick kiss before letting her thumb smooth over Helena’s lower lip. “I asked him if you could stay over and I told him exactly how it would go, that you’d sleep in my bed and be here in the morning and I asked him if he was good with that, and he said yes.” 

“Oh.” The corners of Helena’s eyes crinkle slightly even though she’s not smiling. “Okay.” 

“So will you please come inside and meet my son?” 

“I’d love to.” 

Dinah smiles so widely that Helena forgets how to breathe for a little bit, movements faltering and missing Dinah’s warmth when she steps back, the cool rush of air shocking her back to the moment and reminding her of the gift she’d brought, fingers reaching for it before following Dinah to the living room. 

“What’s in the bag?” 

“It’s not for you,” Helena says, lifting her chin and Dinah tries to act outraged by it but she’s too endeared by Helena to fully get there. 

Dinah’s hand is in her own, and Helena wonders when exactly that happened because she doesn’t notice until she stops when they’re almost at the couch and Dinah tugs her closer. 

She knows Dinah thinks it’s her nerves acting up again but it’s really that she’s caught sight of the four-year-old on the floor, bent over the coffee table as he quietly colours in his book, his face pinched with concentration. 

He looks exactly like Dinah in that moment, the resemblance uncanny and Helena’s mind is drawing up countless images of seeing Dinah wearing that same exact expression, head buried in a recipe book, or reading something on a sign slightly too far away to see, or trying to decide what dessert she wants. She’s seen pictures of him, of course, but nothing really could have prepared her for this. 

A hand squeezes her own and Helena smiles as she glances between Dinah and her son, affection already filling her chest when she watches the boy carefully select a differently coloured crayon. 

She lets Dinah lead her around the couch, urging Helena onto the couch and sitting next to her, but not as closely as they usually do. 

“Jay?” Dinah says, her voice soft and low and so soothing even Helena feels herself calm a little bit. “Wanna come meet my friend?” 

The boy looks up, big brown eyes staring intently at Helena before Dinah calls his name again and he nods slowly, dropping his crayon and getting to his feet. He hesitates, eyes flickering to both sides of the coffee table before rounding it on Dinah’s side, staying glued to her as he clambers onto her lap. 

She lets him settle with a soft chuckle, arms winding around him like second nature and he keeps his eyes on Helena the whole time, even as he seems to sink into Dinah’s embrace. 

“Jordan, this is my friend Helena,” Dinah says, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “Helena, this is my son Jordan.” 

“Hi,” Helena says with a friendly smile, hoping not to come off as too eager. “Your mom told me everybody calls you Jay?” 

He doesn’t say anything, just nods. 

“Is it okay if I call you Jay, too?” 

He nods again, fingers plucking at the long sleeve of Dinah’s shirt. His scrutiny trails down Helena’s form and lingers on something just off to the side, mouth twisting sideways as he stares. 

“What’s that?” he asks, tiny voice finally being used and Helena doesn’t need to turn to know what he’s looking at. 

“Oh this?” She pretends to notice the green bag for the first time, setting it between them and reaching into it. “Just something I had at home and wanted to bring with me to read tonight.” 

She pulls out a children’s book — Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus — and Jay’s eyes go wide at the sight of it. 

“Whoah!” Dinah says. “That’s a cool book, isn’t it, baby?” 

He nods, eyes glued to the book. 

“You can borrow it if you want,” Helena offers, holding the book out between them. 

Jay glances up at his mom who gives him a nod of encouragement before he reaches out with both hands to take the book from Helena, putting it in his lap and running his fingers over the cover, trailing the lines of the illustrated pigeon and bus with reverence. 

“Is it still okay for Helena to stay with us tonight?” Dinah asks, head bowed so she’s closer to him as she speaks. 

He nods and whispers, “Yes.” 

“Thank you for letting me sleep over,” Helena says with a small smile and Jay shoots her a shy smile before squirming to bury his face in Dinah’s shirt. 

Dinah laughs quietly, hand falling to his back and rubbing softly. 

She finally meets Helena’s eyes, smiling and trying to convey how well that interaction’s just gone but Helena’s eyes are still on Jay, a softness to them that Dinah doesn’t think she’s ever seen before and it steals the breath from her lungs. 

She feels Jay yawn against her shirt and knows it’s almost time to start their bedtime routine, and she’s being an awful host because she hasn’t even offered Helena anything to drink so with a quick cuddle, she plops her son on the couch and kisses his forehead, whispering that she’ll be right back. 

Jay nods and watches her go and his eyes remain firmly on the book still grasped in his small hands, gaze only occasionally flickering sideways and immediately away until Dinah comes back with a cup of warm milk for Jay and a glass of water for Helena. 

Dinah doesn’t hesitate to take Jay back into her lap, his legs over hers as he leans back against her and drinks from his sippy cup. 

“Slowly, baby,” she murmurs, hand on his leg rubbing soothingly and he nods even as he gulps down more. Dinah can feel Helena’s eyes on them and when she lifts her head, their gazes lock and all Dinah wants to do is kiss her. 

The corners of her mouth twitch, like Helena knows what Dinah wants and it just makes it that much harder to resist but she still has a lapful of a half-asleep kid so the only thing she can do is reach out and slide her fingers over Helena’s hand and squeeze softly. 

Helena turns her hand over and tangles their fingers, squeezing back softly. 

The sound of slurping breaks the moment and Dinah laughs as she reaches to take the cup from Jay. 

“I think you’re done, buddy,” she says as she does and he pouts only a little bit because Dinah then peppers his cheek with kisses. “Can you go brush your teeth for me?” 

At his nod, Dinah slides him off her legs until he’s standing and before she can do anything, he reaches for the book that lay discarded between them and Helena, his entire arms wrapping around it as he holds it against his chest. 

His brown eyes linger on Helena before drifting back to his mom and Dinah just tilts her head in Helena’s direction. 

“Good night,” he whispers, watching Helena closely and her smile widens as she gives him a small, awkward wave. 

“Good night, Jay.” 

“I’ll be right up,” Dinah says and then he’s gone in a flash. “Hey! No running up the—!” she starts to shout but he’s already upstairs so she waves dismissively and murmurs, “Whatever.” 

Dinah doesn’t say anything for a while, still twisted on the couch towards the staircase but Helena can see the edges of a smile tug at her features, unable to stop herself and she just waits patiently for that knowing, coy look to be directed her way, setting down her glass of water and making sure to avoid any crayons or artwork still strewn about the coffee table. 

Dinah is in her lap a second later, hands cradling her face and lips descending on hers, tongue hot in her mouth and Helena kisses her back just as fiercely, one of her hands gripping Dinah’s thigh as high as she can get it without being indecent and enjoying the way Dinah sighs into her mouth and melts. 

“That went good, I guess?” Helena rasps between kisses. 

“That went _great_.” 

“Okay.” 

“I have to go upstairs but I’ll be back in half an hour,” Dinah says, kissing Helena between the words, smiling when Helena slides a hand under her shirt to rest on the small of her back, the cool touch making her shiver. 

“I’ll be here.” 

* * *

Helena’s laughing at something Cassandra’s showing her on her phone when she hears a loud squeal and rapidly approaching footsteps. 

“Auntie Renee!” 

She just sees a blur of brown and yellow and Helena is surprised by Renee’s quick response as she drops into a crouch with open arms, Cassandra holding out her foot in a half-hearted attempt to prevent Renee from falling backwards as Jay crashes into her. 

“Hey little man,” Renee says as she squeezes him tightly, shaking him softly until his squeals peter out to breathless laughs, his hands around her neck loosening enough to play with a few of Renee’s curls. “What’s up?” 

“Mommy said you were gonna teach me how to shoot darts today!” 

“Hey that is _not_ what I said,” Dinah says as she approaches the group and Jay breaks away from Renee to shoot his mom a guilty look before his face transforms into a sweet smile and Helena realises that he’s inherited the perfect charm from Dinah, his dimples on clear display as he looks up at his mother innocently. Dinah’s shoulders soften, her expression easing a little bit and she points to Cassandra. “Jordan, did you say hi to everybody?” 

He tries not to look too satisfied as he turns to Cassandra, sticking out his tongue and she does the same before quickly bending down to poke his side as he jabs at her knees and they erupt into giggles before Cass just lifts him into a strangling hug, his arms by his side while he laughs up a storm. 

“Morning JJ,” Cass says as she sets him down and he finally turns to her, stopping in his tracks and his wide smile dropping, turning almost shy. 

“Hello,” Helena tries and she can feel everybody’s eyes on them as Jay steps closer, hesitating, unsure of how to greet her. 

“Hi,” he says. 

“High five?” she offers, holds out her hand and he looks at it for a while, deep in thought before quickly smacking her hand with his open palm and then glancing up at her with a small smile. 

He darts back to Renee just as Dinah is greeting Cassandra, moving down the line to say hello to them before reaching Helena. 

“Hi,” Dinah says with a wide smile, fingertips curling into the pocket of Helena’s jacket as she steps closer. 

“Hey,” Helena says, unable to resist that sweet smile and the smell of vanilla from Dinah’s body lotion. She hesitates for a moment, eyes flicking away but Dinah doesn’t seem to care, leaning in and kissing her softly, not as deeply or passionately as they might have in private but definitely more than Helena would’ve expected from Dinah in public with her son just a few feet away. 

Cassandra makes a dry heaving sound that breaks them apart and Dinah shoots her a dirty look that has Helena’s cheeks warming, even as Dinah slides her hand into Helena’s and squeezes. 

“Alright, where to first?” 

“Ferris wheel?” Cassandra suggests and the happy exclamations are all the confirmation that it’s a good idea. 

Three hours later, with a sugar-hyper Jay hopping around Dinah, and Renee and Cassandra off to ride some of the rollercoasters — “Bet you can’t go on the Big Drop without throwing up, grandma” “I’m not the one who got sick last time, kid” — Helena’s hand is still firmly held in Dinah’s. 

“Mommy look at the shark!” Jay exclaims, tugging at Dinah’s jacket to get her attention and Helena can see Dinah grimace a second before she schools her features. 

“They look very cool.” 

“Can I get one?” 

“You have to win one, baby,” Dinah tries to say and the dimples make a return when Jay stops still for the first time in maybe an hour and looks up at her with big eyes and oh, the kid is good. 

“Will you win one for me?” His voice isn’t quite what Helena would call his sleepy voice, the one he’d used when she’d first met the boy or the morning after at breakfast while he’d had to keep himself propped up over his plate, but it is small and low and evokes a feeling of both protectiveness and the need to give him whatever he wants in Helena. 

Dinah crouches down in front of Jay, one of her hands reaching out to adjust his collar and staying there as she lightly pouts at him. 

“I’m not very good at these games,” she says with a twist of her mouth and Jay pouts at her. “But I can try for you?” 

“What if you don’t win?” 

“Then no shark, sweetheart.” 

Jay looks at Dinah with the saddest eyes Helena has ever seen, and she’s been a kindergarten teacher for ten years, so that’s saying something. 

“I’ll get you that shark,” she says before her brain can catch up to her mouth and Dinah turns to her with a curious, and surprised look. 

“Yeah?” Jay asks, smile turning hopeful. 

“She’s going to try,” Dinah corrects as she straightens and tries to shoot Helena a serious look, but Helena doesn’t need it. She knows Dinah thinks the games are rigged and that winning a prize is almost a fool’s goal, but Helena knows the trick to the tin cans and she _knows_ that she’ll be getting that shark. 

They step up to the game, with Jay hovering near her, buzzing with adrenaline and the remnants of a cotton candy high and Helena asks the man behind the counter what the rules of the game are. 

The best way to beat the game is to know the game and Helena isn’t about to waste money because she didn’t think to ask upfront. 

She tells the man which plush toy she wants and asks him how to get it and while the man hems and haws a little bit, Helena pins him with her sternest look that has melted even the most stubborn of pre-schoolers and he flusters, telling her what she needs to do. 

A stack of three, a stack of six, and a stack of ten, with 8 balls to take all of them down and she makes the man stack them in advance instead of waiting for her to complete one before moving onto the other. She lifts each ball to feel the weight of it, arranging them in a line as the man watches her with a halfway impressed look. 

She glances back at Dinah with a smile, eyes drifting down her body where she has her arms on Jay’s shoulders in front of her to keep him from interrupting and Helena shoots him a quick wink and gets a small, shy smile and a nod in return. 

Helena hears Dinah gasp behind her when she throws the first soft ball at the stack of three, all the cans flying in opposite directions when the ball connects but Helena doesn’t wait for the praise before moving onto the other one, taking down the stack of six with two balls before moving onto the stack of ten. She hits it with two balls, nine cans flying back but that one stubborn tin can remaining. 

She can get it, she has three balls left, but it’s a pride thing and she lets out a muttered “damn” before chucking a ball at the last can, and the brute force of the ball connecting with the can sends it flying and when she looks at the man, his jaw is dropped and his eyes firmly on the three empty tables before him. 

Jay claps and cheers and that draws Helena’s attention, and she lets out a soft laugh at the way Dinah’s looking at her, a mixture of impressed, surprised, and turned on, eyes dark as she glances between the empty tables and Helena. 

“This one, right miss?” 

“Yes!” Jay says before Helena can even turn around and she hears a gruff chuckle come from the man behind her as he takes down the big shark she’d been asking about. 

Helena takes it from him and offers it to Jay, who accepts the gift with a wide smile as he wraps his arms around the shark, only barely managing to get them around the plush. 

“What do you say?” 

“Thank you, miss Helena,” he says and for the first time he doesn’t scurry away from her or turn shy, beaming at her and Helena feels her insides completely melt. 

“You’re welcome, Jay.” 

“I wish I’d get a gift like that,” Dinah says offhandedly, her wistful voice more teasing than anything but Jay frowns as he turns to his mother, his face a perfect picture of thoughtful deliberation before he moves closer to her. 

“You can have it if you want, mama,” he offers, his voice small and a little heartbroken as he speaks, holding out the shark as an offer but Dinah just laughs and shakes her head. 

“No, my sweet baby, Helena got that one just for you,” she says and Helena’s heart swells at how he immediately pulls it closer to his body again, seemingly holding it even tighter than before. “Besides, Helena’s gonna give me a toy later anyway.” 

Helena feels her cheeks flame at the insinuation, mouth opening but no sound coming out and Jay just nods and turns back to his new acquisition, the joke completely flying over his head. 

Dinah slides closer, snakes an arm around Helena’s waist before tucking her hand in the pocket of her jeans and squeezing softly. 

“You can’t say that to him,” Helena hisses, fighting against Dinah’s clear seduction. 

“Even if it’s true?” Dinah teases and her lips slide over Helena’s cheek as she presses a soft, lingering kiss there. “That was super sexy, by the way.” 

“The throwing?” Helena manages to say. 

“Yes.” Dinah smiles against her cheek when Helena wraps an arm around her shoulders. “And the way you won for my kid. You’re definitely getting some later.” 

“Stop—talking,” Helena murmurs, weak under Dinah’s touch and she shivers as she breaks away, severing the contact and choosing to keep some safe distance between them. 

She lets Dinah take her hand, shooting her a serious look that Dinah just smiles in response to, and then Jay circles them and asks if they can go to the magician’s show next. 

* * *

“Baby can you hold Helena’s hand for me?” 

“No.” 

The sharp way it’s said makes the two of them stop cold and Dinah frowns lightly as she stops rifling through her bag, dropping to a crouch in front of her son. 

“What’s up?” she asks gently, her voice concerned as she reaches out to drag her fingertips along the back of his head, a soothing motion she’s been using since he was a baby. 

“I wanna hold your hand,” he mumbles with a spare glance at Helena’s hand, the one Dinah had been holding moments before and she finally understands what’s happened. 

“Okay, you can hold my hand,” Dinah whispers, dipping her head even more so that she’s in his line of sight. “I just want you to hold onto something when my hands are full so that I don’t lose you in the crowd. I love you very much and I would be very sad if I couldn’t find you.” 

“I’d be sad too,” he admits, the angry set of his mouth softening as Dinah smiles encouragingly at him. 

“I just need to grab our tickets then we can go see this movie, okay?” 

Jay nods and watches as Dinah straightens up again, finally finding the tickets and handing them to him to hold tightly in his small fingers before taking his free hand. 

Dinah shoots Helena an apologetic smile that the woman doesn’t even catch, too busy looking at Jay with eyes full of concern and Dinah feels like telling her that this is normal, to not take it personally, that this is just kickback from the changes but Jay tugs at her hand impatiently and propels them forward and then Helena’s snapped out of it, her face smoothing out to a blank canvas. 

“You coming?” Dinah says with a teasing smile over her shoulder, fingers reaching behind her so as to not lose Helena in the crowd. 

“Are you sure this—?” 

She’s finally close enough to grab and Dinah curls her fingers into the belt loop of her jeans, yanking her closer and shushing her when there’s barely any space between them. 

“We’re okay.” 

“I don’t want to intrude on your traditions,” she says and Dinah considers kissing her as a way to reassure Helena, eyes flickering down to her lips but apparently that’s enough, because the corners of Helena’s mouth twitch with a badly suppressed smile and her cheeks darken a little. 

“You’re not, you were invited,” Dinah whispers and she curls a hand under Helena’s arm to keep her near as she lets Jay lead them towards the entrance, watching with a proud smile as he hands the person at the gate their tickets. 

They’re let into the park without problem and Dinah keeps her hand firmly in Jay’s to prevent him from running off. Even though they come to the open-air movie night often and he knows the area pretty well, she doesn’t want to risk anything happening to him and she’s not sure Helena could handle the stress of losing her kid in a crowd. 

“How ‘bout here?” Dinah says when they get to a patch near the big tree they always sit by and Jay looks around before turning to her, nodding enthusiastically. 

“Yeah.” 

She reaches into her bag for the blanket and watches as Jay tries to lay down the fabric that’s bigger than his own body, smiling when he starfishes across the blanket to get it flat on the grass. 

“Are we allowed on?” Dinah asks with a soft laugh and Jay flops onto his back to look up at them with a toothy smile, nodding again so Dinah regretfully lets go of Helena’s arm and nudges her down, letting her settle on the farthest edge of the blanket before dropping down on Jay’s other side. 

Jay is clearly comfortable being between them and when Helena comes back mid-previews with a huge bag of popcorn, he squirms closer to take some from her. 

Helena’s so hesitant with him that Dinah wants to tell her to relax a little bit, that she knows his earlier outburst was simply a reaction to thinking she was prioritising holding Helena’s hand over his, and that Jay moving in for a snack without hesitation is his way of trying to mend that bridge. 

Halfway through the movie, they’re practically pressed together, head sharing a rolled-up blanket as a pillow and muttering to each other and laughing together while they watch, so close that Dinah would feel jealous about it were she not so endeared by the picture they make. 

At one point Helena pulls out her own blanket and offers to share it with Jay, who’s already tucking it across his shoulders and cuddling closer to Helena. 

Helena only looks at her when Jay falls asleep with his head on her shoulder, his body slumped against her arm, finds Dinah already facing her, on her side with her head propped up by her hand and Dinah leans in over her son to press a soft kiss to Helena’s lips. 

“Let’s go home?” 

Helena nods so Dinah stands up and wipes at her legs and in the moment she looks away, Helena’s shifted Jay carefully and kept the blanket wrapped around him, sliding her arm under his knees and keeping him tucked against her shoulder, effortlessly getting to her feet with him cradled in her arms and Dinah feels all the breath leave her lungs at the sight. 

Helena holds him like the most precious treasure in the world and Dinah feels her chest constrict. 

“Can you grab my bag? I—” Helena stops talking when she lifts her head and meets Dinah’s eyes, immediately sensing the change in her and she steps closer but Dinah feels so overwhelmed by the sight of them, the care coming off Helena in waves that it’s a little too much and she shakes her head. 

“Yeah, let me just—” She gestures to the blanket and Helena steps away again, just off to the side as Dinah messily folds up the blanket and shoves it into her bag along with the one they’d been using as a pillow. 

She knows Helena is worried about her but she doesn’t know how to verbalise her thoughts yet and she definitely doesn’t feel like having this conversation in a park surrounded by families so she tilts her head in the direction of the parking lot and Helena’s eyes soften as they look at her, nodding in understanding. 

Jay stirs in Helena’s arms when they’re almost at the car, the bright lights probably disturbing him so Helena just holds him tighter, shifting him so his face is buried in her neck and rubbing his back softly, cooing him back to sleep. 

She can barely keep her tears at bay, a little surprised and annoyed by the sudden rush of emotions as she unlocks the car door and opens it so that Helena can carefully settle Jay in his booster seat and even buckle him in. 

“What’s wrong?” Helena asks as soon as the door is closed and Dinah can’t duck away fast enough. 

“Nothing, I—” 

“Dinah,” she says firmly and she sounds a little angry, but then her voice drops, and softens. “Dinah.” 

She swallows thickly, pressing her eyes closed and she lets Helena step closer and cup her jaw, urging her head up. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” she says, but her voice breaks a little bit when she meets Helena’s eyes and she can see that it confuses her. “Everything is _perfect_.” 

“So why do you look like you want to cry?” 

“Because I do,” Dinah says, and she opens her mouth to explain when she sees a few people start trickling out of the park, reminding her of just where they are. “Home?” 

“Yeah.” 

Helena’s eyes are on her the entire drive home and Dinah tries to keep it together, shoots Helena an encouraging smile that does nothing to lessen that fierce furrow between her brows. 

When they get to Dinah’s house, they waste no time in getting Jay upstairs and settled in bed and when Dinah comes back downstairs, she finds Helena pacing around the kitchen island. 

“Hey,” she says softly and the woman stops in her tracks, the concern painted clearly across her features and Dinah has no idea how to even begin talking so she just pads closer and slides her arm around Helena’s waist, stepping into her embrace, forehead dropping to the crook of her neck. 

“Dinah, what’s going on?” she asks, voice wavering even as her arms wind around Dinah’s body. 

“It’s not… it’s not what you think.” She takes a ragged breath and closes her eyes. “When Ollie died, I felt so alone,” she says, voice soft and she’s afraid Helena doesn’t hear her but the grip around her tightens. “He got sick and everything changed and when we knew he was going to die, I just. I don’t know, I was so lonely.” 

“I thought you weren’t together?” 

“We weren’t, not since before Jordan was born,” she says, trying to reach up to wipe at her tears but Helena’s fingers beat her to it, a hand cupping her jaw and her thumb sweeping over her cheek tenderly. “We were still so close, he was a friend, he was Jordan’s dad, we were still supposed to do it all together, you know?” 

“And then he died,” Helena says softly, knowing the story of Jordan’s father. 

“Even though we weren’t good for each other like that, I still loved him. And I never thought I’d even come close to having that again,” Dinah murmurs. “And you’re such an angel and I don’t know what I do to deserve you but I’m so grateful.” 

She can see the exact moment Helena understands what this whole conversation is about, how all her features shift, from concern to adoration, fingers tightening where she’s holding Dinah. 

“I want this with you,” she admits quietly, carefully, as if she’s afraid of spooking Dinah but it just makes her heart flutter. 

“And that’s so scary,” Dinah says, voice trembling. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I know.” 

Helena assertive tone makes her suddenly remember the woman’s own background and her eyes close as she lets out a deep sigh. 

“God, of course you know,” Dinah says, trying to pull away a little. “As if you didn’t lose your whole damn family as a kid. What am I crying about?” 

“Hey,” Helena says, stopping her from going too far, a hand slipping up her neck to cradle the back of her head and making Dinah look at her, “You don’t have to do that.” 

“I’m crying over nothing,” she says with a teary laugh and Helena just smiles. 

“It’s not nothing.” 

Helena leans in and Dinah thinks she’s going to kiss her but instead, Helena’s lips meet her forehead and settle there and Dinah can feel the tension seep out of her the longer they stand there. 

“I love you,” she whispers, voice no longer ragged. 

“I love _you_ , too,” Helena says. “And I love him.” 

Dinah shivers but doesn’t feel tears well up again, pulling away so she can look into Helena’s eyes. “Yeah?” 

“How could I not? Have you seen him? He’s… you.” 

She drags Helena down into a firm kiss, hands tight around her as their bodies mold together. 

“He’s easy to love,” Helena whispers when they part and her eyes are set when she looks at Dinah. “Just like his mom.” 

She doesn’t know how to respond, so she just kisses Helena until she feels settled again. 

* * *

Dinah lifts her head from her sketchbook when Helena’s legs shift against hers, watching as the woman sits up on the couch from where she’d almost completely slid down onto her back. She must feel Dinah’s eyes on hers because she lifts her gaze and shoots Dinah a quick smile before returning to her book. Dinah watches her for a while longer, the concentrated furrow of her brow and the way her free hand idly plays with a strand of hair that’s come loose from her adorable ponytail. 

Jay’s crayons scratch against paper and Dinah’s eyes are drawn to him then, letting out a soft chuckle at the sight of the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he leans over the coffee table, hyperfocused on whatever it is he’s drawing today. 

Dinah could bask in this easy comfort for hours and her eyes briefly close to savour the moment. 

She doesn’t get to enjoy it for long because soon enough she hears Jay try to suppress a yawn and glances at the clock, smiling as she moves her sketchbook to the side and gets up to go to the kitchen. 

She doesn’t expect to have a shadow as she goes and she pretends not to notice Jay sneaking up on her until the very last moment, turning into a squat and going “Boo!” 

He shrieks with delight, his plan foiled but he still laughs about it and throws his arms around Dinah. 

“Mommy?” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“I wanna ask you something!” 

“Ask away,” she says, pausing to give him her full attention but he just stares at her with wide eyes, feet shuffling. “What?” 

“It’s a secret,” he whispers loudly. 

“Oh,” Dinah says, dropping her voice. “Okay, a secret.” 

She leans down so he can whisper the question to her, small hands cupped around her ear as he makes his request and Dinah feels like she’s going to cry when she hears it but she can’t let that show because he’s looking up at her again with his big eyes and an expectant smile so she just nods. 

“Of course that’s okay, sweetheart,” she says, forcing a smile, her voice a little shaky. “You just gotta ask, okay?” 

“Okay,” he says with a happy smile before bounding away, back to the living room. 

Dinah presses her hands into the counter and lets her head hang low, a quiet half sob, half laugh falling from her lips before she shakes her head to shake off the overwhelming tide of emotions, having promised herself that she wasn’t going to let her own insecurities cloud the good. 

She’s back in the living room with milk for Jay a few minutes later, dropping it next to his drawing of a… an airplane? She’s not sure but she knows there will be an explanation to go with the art once he’s finished and she drags her nails softly along the back of his head to get his attention. 

“Thank you, mama,” he murmurs as he reaches for the cup. 

She rounds the coffee table on Helena’s side and the woman looks up at her with a small smile and clear eyes so Dinah just curls her fingers under Helena’s chin to keep her there as she dips her head and kisses her, slowly, and full of intent and Helena sighs into her mouth, book dropping to her lap. 

“What was that for?” Helena asks when Dinah pulls away, licking her lips and watching in a daze as Dinah retakes her seat on the couch. 

“Just cause.” Dinah smiles when she nods slowly, blinking away the wave of desire and levelling Dinah with a slightly suspicious look. “What, you got a problem with that?” 

“No! No,” she says immediately, corners of her mouth tugging up. “No complaints.” 

She doesn’t say anything else, interrupted by the sound of Jay slurping the last of his milk before he sets the cup back on the coffee table. 

He looks to Dinah who only nods in encouragement and Helena doesn’t notice the exchange, having picked up her book again. She also misses the way Jay steels himself, face setting almost adorably as he rises to his feet and moves around the coffee table, stopping by Helena. 

“Helena?” he asks quietly and her head snaps up, book practically being tossed to the side as she gives the boy her full attention. “Wanna read me a story before sleep?” 

“You want me to read you your bedtime story?” she asks softly and when Jay nods, Helena looks at Dinah with surprise and bewilderment painted so clearly across her features. 

“Yes.” 

His determination only barely covers how nervous he is about asking and when Dinah nods at Helena with a wide smile, Helena turns back to the small boy, beaming. 

“Of course.” 

“Okay!” While Helena climbs off the couch, Jay hops over to his mom and throws his arms around her, giving her a cuddle and taking the comfort of Dinah’s arms around him and kissing his face repeatedly. “Night, mama.” 

“Good night, sweetheart. Don’t forget to brush your teeth.” 

“Yes, mama.” 

“Sleep tight, baby,” she says, kissing his forehead as she rakes her nails down the back of his head. “I love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

He slips his hand into Helena’s when they go upstairs, and Dinah tries not to smile too widely when Helena glances back at her, still looking completely floored. 

She has a little giggle to herself as she gets off the couch to tidy up around the living room, and when Helena comes back, Dinah’s just arranging her bag for the next day and Helena can’t resist running her hand down the curve of her back and drawing her attention. 

“How’d it go?” Dinah asks, twisting to look at her. 

“He sleeps with my blanket?” 

“Mhm-hm.” 

“And the shark.” 

“ _Mister_ Shark.” 

“And his favourite book to read at bedtime is the one I got him?” 

“That’s right,” Dinah says, running her hands up Helena’s arm until she can loop them around her neck lazily, bringing her closer. She loves how absolutely dumbfounded Helena looks, like nothing really makes sense anymore so she quickly kisses her lips, thumb lazily moving back and forth over the nape of Helena’s neck. “Welcome to the family,” she whispers and Helena’s eyes finally snap to hers. 

“I didn’t think he…” 

“He just needed time,” Dinah says as Helena’s arms wind around her body, almost like she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it. 

“I didn’t think it would happen so fast.” 

“It’s been like two months.” 

“Exactly,” Helena says and Dinah can see the insecurities well up inside her so she hooks a finger into the elastic holding Helena’s hair in a ponytail and tugs it down, releasing the short strands so she can rake her fingers through it. 

“Dance with me?” Dinah murmurs and Helena finally seems to come out of her daze, smiling down at her. 

“Always.” 

Helena’s arm drifts up her back to pull her closer and Dinah gets the hint, steps into Helena’s body and presses her cheek to Helena’s. She can’t resist turning her head and dropping a kiss there, lips lingering for a moment as she feels Helena’s lips curve into a smile. 

The music drifting from the set in the living room is faint, already lowered from when they’d all been in there having quiet time before Jay had to go to sleep, but Dinah can still hear the easy jazz and knows what song it is, so she hums it into Helena’s ear as they sway, barely moving but perfectly entwined. 

“I love you,” Helena says, punctuating her words by holding Dinah even tighter. 

Everything is perfect and Dinah closes her eyes to bask in it. 

“I love you, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know your thoughts <3


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